Category Archives: Science Fiction

My Childhood Sexual Assault, or, Patriarch’s Day, Part 2

(Trigger warning, in case the title doesn’t make it clear: child sexual assault.)

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Foreword:

This post is in solidarity with Moira Greyland (daughter of Marion Zimmer Bradley and Walter Breen), Cath Schaff-Stump, and other survivors of childhood abuse and rape.

The SFF community is struggling right now to contend with accusations of sexual harassment, sexism, and abuse against some of its most prominent members. I’m finding I have a lot to say about it. I have a series of posts in progress. This is the second.  The first was here. Watch this space in coming days and weeks for more.

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I’ve been thankful for the web-boostage and words of support I received for my recent Clockwork Clarion post. But I need to be crystal clear about something: I didn’t tell my story for the sake of sympathy, and I don’t need your pity.

First of all, the incident had a limited effect on me in the greater scheme of things. It was outrageous and awful, but I had little time to ponder it afterward. My life changed radically a month later, when I left for Washington DC and began my Peace Corps training. I went on to live for two years in Kenya, where I learned how to be a grown-up, made many good friends, had many false assumptions challenged, and learned much about East Africa and its rich and diverse cultures.

Then I returned home to write and publish six SF novels and some shorter works, while managing a demanding and successful engineering career (including, if that sort of thing matters to you, five years as corporate environmental officer for a Fortune 500 firm, and co-founder of a technology start-up). I raised two remarkable daughters. I am happily married for 25+ years to a man who is incredibly supportive and loving, an equal partner and devoted father.

In other words, my life is a success. The rape skit didn’t break me. Far from it. All it did was to give me a sharp reminder that I had to guard myself around men. Even friends. Even men I trusted and loved. (Even in my beloved SFF tribe.) But that was a lesson I had been taught, as a child, by the men in my own family.

Continue reading My Childhood Sexual Assault, or, Patriarch’s Day, Part 2

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A Clockwork Clarion

(Trigger warning: rape fantasy stories, stalking, gang-rape prank, misogyny, sexism)

I’ve been reading the #YesAllWomen twitter stream (a backgrounder is here, for those who haven’t been following it), and decided I needed to share my own story. I tweeted about this earlier today under my handle @MorganJLocke, but decided to go into more depth here, because it is, yes, outrageous and appalling, and I haven’t really talked about it since it happened, except to a couple of people closest to me.

This is going to make some people—people I care about—uncomfortable. The internet might fall on my head. So be it. The #YesAllWomen thread reminds me that we don’t get past the misogyny that is (STILL! WTF!) endemic in the SFF community, by sweeping the nasty stuff under the rug. It’s time to clean house.

Continue reading A Clockwork Clarion

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Traveler seeks home; speaker seeks voice; leaper seeks faith

The spousal unit recently shared on Twitter a post I wrote back in 2007 about surveillance, privacy, governmental overreach, and Cory Doctorow’s wonderful book, LITTLE BROTHER. It got me to thinking about who I used to be, and who I am now.

image source: istockphoto.com

I have found it hard to speak publicly, since leaving the day job–both in my fiction, and here on the blog. That didn’t used to be the case, and my post about Cory’s book reminded me of this.

Part of it was learned behavior. As a consultant, you can’t afford to be noisy and opinionated. Tact is critical, if you want to keep your job. Now I don’t need tact! Yay! So I’m having to unlearn that habit.

But there’s something deeper going on, as well. To be a good writer, you have to be both entertaining and truthful about important things. Yeah; OK. But I don’t know anymore how to boil my experiences and observations down into good narrative. My thoughts feel disorganized and interdependent and nonlinear, and the twined coils of multiple humiliations and disappointments run through them. It’s hard to expose these to the air.

Continue reading Traveler seeks home; speaker seeks voice; leaper seeks faith

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Writers Write

Fiends, Romulans, Mouseketeers: take a potty break, warm up your personal poison, and settle in. This will be a long ride.

Canadian blogger and independent academic Kathryn Allan has written a review of my book Up Against It that is also about her own personal journey as a feminist scholar over the past year. She talks about meeting me at WorldCon last fall and reading my latest book. She reflects on my decision to take a new byline, and how that decision and my work have intertwined with her own transition from the academic life to one as an independent scholar—someone who clearly has suffered, made some important and life-alter(nat)ing decisions 🙂 , who is facing uncertainty now and, I sense, may have had to let go of some cherished dreams, but who is looking forward to her future with anticipation and (at least, so I hope) joy.

For the rest of this post to make much sense, it might help to read her post first. It’s OK; I’ll be here when you get back.

Continue reading Writers Write

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Science and Math are Civil Rights

February is Black History Month. There was a great broadcast on the radio last weekend about the 1960s and the Civil Rights movement. The broadcasters had interviews by people who had lived and marched for equality during those years. It was deeply moving.

I was driving and wasn’t able to take notes, so I don’t know who produced the broadcast or the speakers were, but I tuned in while they were interviewing a renowned mathematician, who recounted his experiences as a child. He had to fight every single day to gain access to the resources that would enable him to eventually earn him his doctorate in science, math, and engineering. I got choked up listening to him talk about how hard he had to fight against the prejudices of his teachers, the peer pressure from his classmates, who saw science and math as the province of whites, the weight of societal certainty, that told him that as a black, he had no business striving to master mathematics.

“Math is a civil right,” he said, and I felt as if he had struck a tuning fork next to my heart. Yes. Yes. Yes.

Knowledge is power. Science and math give us the ability to understand how the world works. Engineering gives us tools to apply that knowledge to improve people’s lives. And yet, many people of color and women avoid careers in science, math and engineering. We are suspicious, perceiving technical professions as fields of endeavor that are hostile to us. With good reason; the habits of patriarchy and racism are deeply embedded in STEM professions. As a woman who has spent most of her adult life working as an engineer, I can attest that I have often felt as though I was having to prove myself over, and over, and over again, in ways my male colleagues never had to do.

Is it any wonder that women and people of color turn away from careers in STEM?

And yet I cling to that love of science and technology that I discovered as a girl. Understanding how the universe works is the real magic. The real truth. It’s our world to savor too, those of us excluded from power by our gender, or our ethnicity, by our sexuality or whatever otherness we carry that causes those in power to shun us. We have the right to dive deep into the language of science, embrace and discover its mysteries.

In my stories, I’ve written on the harder side of SF, and I’ve had friends and family lament that fact. “You’re such a good writer,” they say. “Why do you have to write science fiction? Can’t you write something more… accessible?”

Yeah, I probably could. But I don’t want to. I write what I write because I want to share that love of science and technology. I want to share that passion. I want to paint worlds in which girls, and other Others, who dream those techie dreams–traveling to other worlds; building their own robots; curing diseases that cripple and destroy–grow up to achieve great things. Make a contribution. Matter.

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